321 posts categorized " Author Slim Randles" Feed

Home Country: Windy Wilson educatin’ the kids

CNBNews Contributor (Gloucestercitynews.net)(May 26, 2020)--It’s always a treat when Windy Wilson stops by the Mule Barn for a cup and a visit with us. He got all settled in while we waited for him. “Now you fellas know it shore ain’t perlite to interrupt a guy when he’s educatin’ the kids, right? A real gentleman wouldn’t do it. But that didn’t slow down this weird young guy who was visitin’ one of our hometown girls. “I think she met him in college where he was... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: Spring is in The Air

CNBNews Contributor (Gloucestercitynews.net)(May 2020)--It was one of those evenings that makes you glad there’s a month called May. Bob Milford parked his truck in front of the Mule Barn truck stop, then changed his mind and drove the few blocks into town and parked in front of Sarah’s Read Me Now book store and got out. The air was sweet like wine, warm and flowing over his body. The calves out on the Diamond W were healthy and frolicking all over the place and there... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: "Murder in the Soggy Bottoms”

CNBNews Contributor “This is the year,” said Dud, flipping his cup to the upright and fillable position. Mavis filled it up and brought him a saucer full of fake cream. “Been thinking about it, and this is definitely the year.” “Okay, I’ll bite,” said Steve, twitching his walrus-like moustache, “This is the year for what, Dud?” “For everything!” He stood and walked a complete circuit behind the chairs at the round table, waving his arms. “Can’t you feel it? It’s gonna happen. This is the... Read more →


Home Country: Herb Collins Planting Trees for "Glory"

CNBNews Contributor Like a doctor removing something important, Herb Collins gently peeled the wrapper back from the root ball and tenderly placed the baby tree in the hole. Then he stood and walked around it to see which way he should align it. Actually, looks pretty good just the way it is. So he took his bucket of mixed sand and compost and began sprinkling it down onto the roots and then packing it in gently with his fist. Every few minutes he’d stop and... Read more →


Home Country: Why Do The Call It May Day?

CNBNews Contributor As the recessional played, and Reverend Jeff opened the church doors before shaking hands with his parishioners, he was surprised to discover he wasn’t the first one there. “Mornin’ Rev!” “Uh, good morning … Alphonse.” Yes, it was Alphonse “Windy” Wilson, his boots cleaned and a bulldogger Western tie on his pearl-snap shirt, grinning broadly. He stood next to the minister as the parishioners came past, one by one and shook Jeff’s hand. Then they shook Windy’s hand … because there it was,... Read more →


Marvin Pincus and His Fenwick Glass Fly Rod

CNBNews Contributor It was just one of those things. It didn’t really mean Marvin Pincus had lost his mind. Consider this yourself for a minute. Marvin had opened the mail that morning and in it was the Fenwick glass fly rod he’d ordered. Oh, it was used, of course. But there’s a feel to a Fenwick that only a man dedicated to a life of using dry flies can appreciate. The weather was gorgeous. The fish were biting on Lewis Creek. But there was a... Read more →


CNBNews March & April Cheers and Jeers

Jakob, a Gloucester City Middle School student doing his part to fight the pandemic (source https://www.facebook.com/GloucesterMEC/) CHEERS-Jakob, a Gloucester City resident who is an 8th grader at the Gloucester City Middle School is making ear relief bands for doctors and nurses. The doctors and nurses wear masks for 12+ hours straight. Because of this, their ears get irritated and leave marks and cuts. The masks can attach to the ear relief bands and take the pressure off their ears. Jakob’s dad has a machine that... Read more →


Home Country: Time to Scratch and Think

CNBNews Contributor There’s something so satisfying about getting out of bed when the world is still dark and quiet and resting. Making the coffee gives us time to scratch and think. Well, scratch, anyway. Most of that thinking will start after about the third cup. But it’s a quiet time. A private time. When the world is dark, and there isn’t yet a hint of pink over the eastern mountains, it’s very good. We can relax. No one is expecting anything from us right now.... Read more →


Home Country: Spring Mornings Are Like Christmas

CNBNews Contributor Spring mornings are a lot like Christmas. Each day we get up and go out into the yard, or walk along the creek or visit the horses in the pasture. And each day, each morning, we find something new the sun has brought us. Pinfeather leaves of an unbelievable green now start showing on cottonwoods that have stood like stark ghostly frames all through the cold winter. Hopeful blades of grass peek through clumps of brown left over from last summer’s verdant pasture.... Read more →


Home Country: April Fools Day

CNBNews Contributor April First … clear wonderful morning … members of the world dilemma think tank down at the Mule Barn coffee shop looked around. “Anyone seen Dud this morning?” “Not me. Haven’t seen Herb, either, come to think of it.” “Hey, that’s right,” Steve said. “Matter of fact, haven’t seen much of those two all this past week.” “Working, you think?” said Doc. “Those two?” “Yeah. What was I thinking?” They were quiet through the sweet rolls and Steve’s hash browns. “Last time I... Read more →


Home Country: Just Leave This Problem to Dud

Slim Randles | CNBNews.net “So how about this?” Dud said, grinning. “We get somebody to pretend to be an oil tycoon’s executive director or something, and we have him talk to Delbert about where to build the refinery.” The other members of the Mule Barn truck stop’s world dilemma think tank looked at Dud and sipped coffee and silently shook their heads. “Okay, Dud said,” and why not?” “Won’t work,” said Steve, brushing sweet roll crumbs off his walrus moustache. “Dud, the nearest oil to... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: The Problem Was Mrs. Doc

CNBNews Contributor The problem was Mrs. Doc, you see. Oh, don’t misunderstand. She’s a perfectly wonderful lady and we all think the world of her, and as far as we know she has yet to burn down a house or start a war or anything. The problem is, we don’t know her first name. If you just come out and flat ask her, she’ll smile and say, “Well, don’t you think Mrs. Doc is a nice name? I’ve had it for a long time now.”... Read more →


Home Country: March, The Windy Month

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Well, it’s March again … the windy month. And here in Home Country we have our very own variety that blows in to have coffee with us every now and then. Windy Wilson, of course. His takes on the human condition, and history, and darn near everything else lack only accuracy. The entertainment and color are always there, and we’re always glad to see the old camp cook and cowboy. “Boys,” said Windy, “I guess you all figgered out what’s... Read more →


Home Country: What Do Today's Kite Fliers Dream About?

Slim Randles/CNBNews Contributor Marjorie Pincus looked out the front window at her husband, Marvin, and smiled. No matter how old he gets, she thought, he’ll always be the boy I remember, riding his bicycle through this town so many years ago. Marvin had stopped picking out the nutgrass and was watching a small group of children across the street in the park. Two of them had kites, and the brisk wind of morning had them both up as high as string would allow. Soon, Marvin... Read more →


Home Country: Helping Steve At The Mule Barn Truck Stop

Slim Randles l CNBNews Contributor Steve was out in the Mule Barn truck stop parking lot the other day, tightening something with his wrenches under the hood of his pickup truck. The rest of us stood around looking wise. “You sure it ain’t the solenoid?” said Bert. “I don’t think they make them anymore,” said Doc. “It’s usually the solenoid,” Bert said, with finality. Out of self defense, Steve emerged from his cavern of wires and metal long enough to say, “Didn’t I see you... Read more →


Home Country: HELPING DAY!

by SLIM RANDLES | CNBNEWS CONTRIBUTOR Windy was at it again the other day … Helping Day. There aren’t an awful lot of things a semi-retired half stoved-up cowboy and camp cook can contribute to make his community a better place. With Windy Wilson, it sure as sugar wasn’t money. He couldn’t put a down payment on a free lunch. So he helped someone, about once a week, depending on weather. Part of the fun of it was not saying anything to his vic …... Read more →


Home Country: The Best Time of the Year

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor “This is ‘bout the best time of year,” said Steve, “to get out and do something fun, like go to a rodeo.” “Awful cold out there right now, Steve,” said Doc, who has more degrees than a thermometer. “I guess it’s a good thing they have all those building rodeos these days.” “Well, that would take all the sport out of it, wouldn’t it?” Steve said. “Dud, pass the sugar please.” Dud passed the sugar. “Don’t know what you mean,... Read more →


Home Country: The Daily Meeting of the World Dilemma Think Tank

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Dud sat quietly this morning at the daily meeting of the World Dilemma Think Tank … that’s Dud and the guys, of course. Herb had brought some new jokes with him as a way of pumping new adrenaline into our winter conversational doldrums. They weren’t all THAT good, but we all laughed, and Dud smiled a little. “You’re quiet this morning, Dud,” said Steve. “Everything okay?” “Oh sure,” he said, smiling. “Just wondering about what goes on in a guy’s... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: Successfully Retired Means Having a Wife and a Television Set

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Ran into Herb Collins the other day down by the school. He volunteers there, from time to time, helping kids with their math homework, and trying to recruit future members of The Great World of Business. He loved business, back in the days when he lived in the city and ran the pawn shop. For years now, ever since he hung up his jeweler’s loupe, he’s told us that there was an excitement to making the right deal. “It has... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: Do You Really Have To Go?

Slim Randles | CNBNews Columnist Teachers in rural schools are special. Unlike the great city amalgamated and homogenized institutes of lower learning, the rural schools tend not to have teachers who are putting in time until their heart stops. And it’s a mixed blessing, because rural schools sometimes have to hire someone whose only qualification is a pulse. But there are those rural teachers who go down in SLIM RANDLES legend for their creativity. Like John Lewis. After his first semester teaching at the high... Read more →


Home Country: The Philosophy Counter

Slim Randles | CNBNews.net (Gloucestercitynews.net)(January 8, 20120)--It happened when two unfamiliar truck drivers came in the Mule Barn and took seats at the Round Table. Not that we wouldn’t have invited them to sit down, if they’d asked. Hey, we’re friendly guys. Usually we’re at the counter … you know … the Philosophy Counter. But this morning, due to nasty weather, the numbers of the world dilemma think tank experienced some overflow. But there were still two seats left at the Round Table until those... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: See You Next Year!

Slim Randles | CNBNews.net “The highlight of the week before New Year’s,” said Steve, semi solemnly, “is to be able to tell your pals ‘See you next year’. “Really?” said Dud. “That’s it? How about now that we’re hip deep … almost … in the new year? What do you do now that is encouraging?” “Well,” Steve said, sipping his coffee and sending a jealous eye to Doc’s sweet roll, “one of my New Year’s resolutions is to figure out what to look forward to... Read more →


Home Country: It is Time for New Year's Resolutions

Slim Randles | CNBNews It was Herb who kicked things off at the world dilemma think tank at the philosophy counter in the Mule Barn truck stop. Herb is like Nature itself. He abhors a vacuum, too. “Well,” Herb said, “it’s about that time again.” Three heads swiveled to look at him. “New Year’s resolutions … you know.” Three nods. “So Herb, what are your new resolves for the next year?” “Glad you asked, Dud. I thought I might lose 15 pounds, take sailing lessons... Read more →


Home Country: Why We Cherish Christmas

Slim Randles | CNBNewsnet Mabel Adams was sitting in the day room at the Rest of Your Life retirement home when the children came in. She smiled and so did all the others in the room except for two who didn’t Slim Randles know what was going on. The old-timers in the home knew the kids were coming and had put up Christmas decorations around in the day room and on the doors of their own small apartments and on themselves. Mabel had been reminded... Read more →


Home Country: Windy Cheating at Solitaire?

Slim Randles | CNBNews.net The main problem, said Windy to himself, is a lack of variety. He got up from his kitchen table and poured a fourth cup of coffee. The weather outside was terrible, he didn’t have any work to do today, Ramses was healthy and asleep over next to the heater. Not bad, said the old cowboy philosopher and camp cook. I could do a lot worse, he thought. But still, there was that darn lack of variety. And it was this problem... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: Just Hire A Teenager

Slim Randles | CNBNews.net It was a rare treat to have Vince come in the Mule Barn truck stop and join us for coffee. He’s usually too busy taking care of what we all know around the valley here as the “gas station gun shop.” Slim Randles Vince is one of those lucky guys who figured out how to scratch his passion itch while earning a living. The passion is guns and the living is pumping gas. Ever since he received a firearms license from... Read more →


Home Country: Good ol’ Poker-hontas Saved the Day

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Windy Wilson waited while the first cup was poured, there at the daily meeting of the world dilemma think tank at the Mule Barn truck stop. When Windy shows up, it’s always an interesting lesson on vocabulary and remembrance of things that may or may not have occurred. “Fellers,” Windy said, “you know Thanksgivin’s ‘bout here, don’t ya?” We did. “Brings me to mind of that Indun girl, Poker-hontus. Now she were a proper honey, I’ll tell ya. Not only... Read more →


Home Country: What's A Vermiculturist

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Dewey Decker showed his new business cards to the other guys at the Mule Barn Truck Stop’s philosophy counter, and each member of the world dilemma think tank got to keep one. Steve, our owlish-appearing cowboy, scratched his head as he studied the card. Slim Randles “Okay, Dewey, I’ll bite … what’s a verm-a- ….? “Vermiculturist, Steve,” Dewey said, proudly. “It means I raise worms.” Dewey, the beloved accident-prone member of the think tank, began his new career with just... Read more →


Home Country: Reporters and The Flat Story

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor “Did you read the paper from the city today?” asked Steve. The rest of us shook our heads no. Most everything pertaining to us occurs on the pages of the Valley Weekly Miracle or is deliberately excluded for the same reason. “I’ve been following that flat story, you know,” Steve said, nodding yes to Mavis for a coffee refill. “Haven’t heard how that went yet.’ “Flat story?” asked Doc. “Yeah. You know them guys who think the earth is flat... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: THE LIFE OF BILLY THE DOG

Slim Randles | CNBNews The first cold nights sent Billy indoors. Aunt Ada always had room on the couch for Billy. It was different now, of course, since Desdemona passed away. She was good, for a cat. Now there was just Billy and the other cat, Boots, to share the couch. Billy was no dummy. In the past three years or so, since he became the official town dog, he not only knew his duties, but his options as well. Billy’s duties were to see... Read more →


Home Country: Herb Collins Taking Halloween to its Extremes

Slim Randles | CNBNews To look at Herb Collins, you wouldn’t think he was like that. A nicer, kinder guy you never met. But for one evening each year … one little slice of time … he’s downright diabolical. Every small town has one, of course. There is always that one person who takes Halloween to its extremes of horror and fantasy. We have Herb. Everyone knows about his penchant for decoration. Ever since he retired, his yard and house have celebrated every holiday from... Read more →


Home Country: The Orange and Black of Fall

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor I think there must be autumnal reasons for Halloween being hued in orange and black. It’s a fun time, a magic evening if you’re a kid, and if you’re a grandpa-type guy, like me, who gets to hand out the goodies. But the colors of this sweet evening celebration are orange and black, and so is October. In another week or so, our deciduous trees will stand like skeletons against the gray skies of winter, but now we have the... Read more →


Home Country: Squash; One of the English Language Most Painful Words

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Squash. Just listen to that word one more time. Squash … one of the English language’s most painful words, along with maim and trauma and rend and okra and Liberace. Why would anyone want to eat something that sounds as though someone sat on it? The bottom-line truth is, cooks all over the place love a challenge, and they have tried valiantly to turn squash into an edible dish. To do this, they take one tenth of a portion of... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: Windy Wilson "Top Dog" for the Day

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Wellsir, I ast ol’ Slim if mebbe I could contribulate to his Home Country columns if I ever had something important to renounce. And he said he wanted to go hunting, anyway, so why not now. So howdy. This here’s Windy Wilson, you know. I’m the guy on the Home Country with Slim Randles radio show what edumacates folks to stuff they ain’t heard the straight of before. I timed ‘er just right the other day. Strolled on into the... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: She Has Labradoodles! Is It Catching?

Slim Randles | CNBNewsnet “Labradoodles? Some lady in the city has Labradoodles,” Doc said, putting down the paper. “Hope it isn’t catching,” said Dud. We knew without being told what a Labradoodle was, of course. It meant that a good retriever got too close to one of those tippy-toe prancing fluffs and now there are puppies that need good homes. We’d been broken in to this world by cockapoos and peekapoos, so a genuine Labradoodle wasn’t that much of a stretch. At least it gave... Read more →