622 posts categorized "Chuckles!" Feed

CNB Book Review: Four Great Reads for Summer

“The Shadow Girl” by Misty Mount (NAPSI)—“A powerful fantasy that combines a coming of age theme with insights into changing family relationships, the impact of past worlds on present lives, and a shy girl’s unexpected changes.”—Midwest Book Review Shy, thirteen-year-old Zylia has always known she was different. She’s disappearing from this world and doesn’t know how to stop it. Then she stumbles across a family mystery surrounding the disappearance of her great-aunt Angelica years earlier. During her quest to unravel the mystery, Zylia discovers she’s able to cross the boundary and enter the “in between” world. Now, it’s up to... Read more →


Home Country: What Some People Will Do For a Free Meal

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Mrs. Forrest has always been a compulsive feeder. Before she retired, she was cooking for the Mule Barn truck stop’s customers, and is singularly responsible for about three flabby tons of avoirdupois on this nation’s truck drivers, and may have been marginally responsible, third-hand, for a cardiac event or two. But now she’s retired, and a widow, and her kids all have kids and are scattered like a covey of quail. Local bachelors of a certain age know if they should just happen to be chatting with Mrs. Forrest on her front lawn along about... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: Who Knew Mules Like Watermelon?

Slim Randles CNBNews Contributor (Gloucestercitynews.net)-- Dud and I had just about finished solving the problems on page one and were about to start solving sports dilemmas when Bert mumbled something. Now Bert, usually loquacious, was in one of his rare, but deadly, silent coffee mornings. Normally he'd fill the Mule Barn truck stop with his pronouncements on life, love, literature and the price of cauliflower, but not today. I took a sip and turned to Bert. "You say something, Bert?" "Seeds and froth," he mumbled. "Seeds and froth?" "It's not like it was my fault, you know. What did I... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: The Lewis Creek Swimming Hole

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor (Gloucestercitynews.net)(July 22,2020)--There is in the splashing of the creek a great spray of diamonds. As each youngster sails like an astronaut out on the tire Slim Randles swing, then releases the hold on the earth to flail, suspended in time and space for that brief second or two, there is a timelessness, a postponement of all things evil and destructive, an affirmation of joy. The swimming hole in Lewis Creek has been there since Indian times, of course, and the tire swing was probably preceded by simply a rope with knots in it. It is... Read more →


Video: The Hodge Twins on The Black National Anthem and the BLM

The Hodge Twins discuss the National Football League's plans to play the Black National Anthem before our country's National Anthem at football games. They also give their opinion on the Black Lives Matter movement. (Warning: some of the language in this video may be offensive to the viewer) Kevin N. Hodge and Keith W. Hodge (better known as the Hodge Twins, are YouTubers, fitness expert, and stand-up comedians (film). Together, they own and operate the Hodgetwins fitness and entertainment brand. As of June 2020, they have over 2.21 million subscribers on one of their three YouTube channels, 1.2 million followers... Read more →


Home Country: The Virus and Fourth of July

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor “Ain’t the same, is it?” asked Windy. He sipped some more coffee. “Know what you mean,” said Doc. “Doesn’t seem right, somehow.” “Guess we got to, howsomever.” “Afraid so.” Doc sipped some coffee too. “But you know, there isn’t a Fourth of July parade that’s worth your life.” To be honest, the elder folks in our community prolonged the Fourth of July plans until the last minute. I think it’s a sign of our great trust in science, scientists, and our doctors that made us wait so long before shelving the parade this year. But... Read more →


Good Bye to Our Old Friend, Common Sense

Editor's Note: This has circulated on the internet for 20 years if not longer. It has been attributed to several internet sites along with the London Times. The earliest we can find is in 1998 on Lori Borgman website. and also to Lori Borgman, author, columnist, and speaker. In these troubling times the words below seem more appropriate than anytime in our history. ~ Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago... Read more →


Home Country: When the World is Hot and My Skin is Fried...

When the world is hot and my skin is fried, scratching from the constant dry, let the clouds boil up, boil up high. And then shade the earth with the darkening sky and bring the secrets and the smell of rain. The coolness and the blessed rain, again. CNBNews Contributor Our land is brown but blessed, stressed in the heat, the shiny heat of day. The slender green of rivers slide along, striving to continue, to feed its own along the banks, the banks where the dust rises. Rises, powdery clomp by clomp as we walk, walk the shady way.... Read more →


Getting Old…….. To My Ever – – So- Young Friends! A Collection

Joe Ball Joe Ball | CNBNews Contributor I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, ‘Are you having it catered’? And that, my friend, Is the definition of ‘OLD’! *** Just before the funeral services, the undertaker Came up to the very elderly widow and asked, ‘How old was your husband?’ ’96,’ she replied: ‘Two years younger than me’ ‘So you’re 98,’ the undertaker commented She responded, ‘Not hardly worth going home, is it?’ *** Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: ‘And what do you think is the best... Read more →


Home Country: Who Gave Windy Wilson Permission to use the Cop Car?

by Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor No one will admit knowing how Windy got permission to use the police car. All we know is, he did, and some dumb @#$% showed him how to work the loudspeaker. “Now you folks’r prolly wonderin’ who it is drivin’ ‘round makin’ sure ever-body is bein’ safe today. Yep, it’s me, Windy Wilson, behind this year mask in the cop car. “The more ‘sperienced amongst us want to remind you to wash your hands, wear your mask, and stay away from them rock concerts, okay? Too many people. Ain’t safe.” Windy turned right to... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: The Unbearable Heat

CNBNews Contributor It’s the heat that defines us this month. It greets us at daybreak with its promise, but in an hour or so, it bears down on our shoulders and makes us dream of shade and something cold to drink. The best thing about our hot season, however, are evenings when most of the earth cools, and that breeze slides in off the mesa and caresses our cheeks. Then it’s time to sit, and laugh, and tell stories and just be with someone we love. Then is the culmination of a day we can be proud of. Inside each... Read more →


Home Country: Windy Wilson educatin’ the kids

CNBNews Contributor (Gloucestercitynews.net)(May 26, 2020)--It’s always a treat when Windy Wilson stops by the Mule Barn for a cup and a visit with us. He got all settled in while we waited for him. “Now you fellas know it shore ain’t perlite to interrupt a guy when he’s educatin’ the kids, right? A real gentleman wouldn’t do it. But that didn’t slow down this weird young guy who was visitin’ one of our hometown girls. “I think she met him in college where he was majorin’ in bein’ wrong, and brought him home to meet the folks. The way it... Read more →