704 posts categorized "Chuckles!" Feed

Tokyo Olympics: U.S Women's Soccer Team Defeated After Opponents Play National Anthem

...During Game Forcing Them To Kneel July 27th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com It's a move many are calling the "greatest 4D chess move of all time." Some are even saying it's the most important strategy developed in soccer since the kick was invented. Many are hopeful it will even get Americans interested in watching soccer again. "It's a genius strategy," said one commentator as a singer on the sidelines began singing, "O say can you see, by the dawn's early light" over the stadium's sound system. Megan Rapinoe was going to intercept a pass but dutifully took a knee and was... Read more →


Mosquitos Much Bigger This Year in South Jersey

graphic image courtesy of tenor.com by Bunny Hop | Piney Woods Buzz special to CNBNews BATSTO, NJ (July 28, 2021)(CNBNews)--We have received several reports from people who live in the Batsto Village area near the southern New Jersey Pine Barrens that the mosquitoes this summer are much bigger than usual. The Pineys, as they are known locally, claim they have actually witnessed people being carried away by these monster dipterans into the swamps and woods never to be seen again. Most of the individuals we spoke with wanted to remain anonymous; all except a guy named Billy Bob Cooter, who... Read more →


*Graffiti Art Contest at the Alcatraz East Crime Museum

PIGEON FORGE, Tennessee – Alcatraz East Crime Museum invites artists to submit their entry into the 3rd Annual Graffiti Art Contest held on Saturday, November 6, 2021. The event coincides with National STEM Day, bringing attention to the addition of Arts… turning STEM to STEAM. Although graffiti is a controversial issue that is very costly to clean up, this contest and exhibit highlights organized graffiti programs found across America that reduce vandalism while promoting local talent. “We know how serious the graffiti issue is in many areas of the country, which is why we want to help teach people about... Read more →


New Book Released: Weed of Wonder

Cannabis history is your history. Discover why in the new publication Weed of Wonder. Weed of Wonder is the result of more than four years of in-depth research and photography. Unprecedented access to Museum founder Ben Dronkers’ collection of over 9000 cannabis-related artifacts has resulted in a fresh view of the plant’s history. The book will be available from June 25th, 2021. Why a new book on Cannabis? Legal cannabis is slowly becoming international. Old-school cannabis activism now exists alongside a billion dollar industry. CBD, the ‘wellness cannabinoid’, is changing the perception of the plant and mainstreaming its use beyond... Read more →


U.S. Coast Guard Prepares for Blue Angels Air Show in Annapolis May 25

Coast Guard establishes regulated area, boating restrictions for Blue Angels Air Show in Annapolis BALTIMORE, Md. – The Coast Guard will establish a regulated area across the Severn River in order to create a safe boating experience for the maritime public during the United States Naval Academy Commissioning Week Blue Angels Air Show in Annapolis, between 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m., on Tuesday, May 25th and Wednesday, May 26th. The regulated area will include the Severn River from the shoreline to shoreline bounded to the northwest by a line drawn along the U.S.-50 fixed highway bridge. The regulated area is... Read more →


How Do I Obtain the Vaccine?

The NJ Vaccine Call Center is open with live agents assisting callers! Call 855-568-0545 for information on the following: vaccine eligibility registering on NJVSS local vaccination sites & more! Agents will be available to take your call 7 days a week, 8 am-8 pm. More Information available at the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Information Center Read more →


Ed Hubbs, Retired Mail Clerk, City School Board Member, Fireman, Air Force Vet

Edward C. Hubbs On April 29, 2021. Age 78. Of Gloucester City. Full Obituary will appear on ClearysNoteBook and in next week’s edition of the Gloucester City News. He proudly served our country during Vietnam in the U.S. Air Force from 1961-1965. Ed was a 30-year devoted member of the Gloucester City Board of Education. He served as President for many years and enjoyed serving his community. Ed was a volunteer fireman for the Gloucester City Fire Department and was a member of the Gloucester City Lions Club since 2007. He was a mail handler for 40 years at the... Read more →


White House Reporter Ronald Crump, "Mr. Biden, Why are you a total loser?"

WASHINGTON, D.C.—At Biden's first press conference Thursday, March 25, 2021, most of the questions were thoughtful and pointed, with reporters asking things like "Why are you so amazing?" and "We demand you tell us your secret to being so incredible!" But one reporter went further than the others. The reporter, a new CNN recruit, Ronald Crump, jumped up and asked, "Mr. Biden, why are you a total loser?" Ronald Crump, new White House Press reporter (image courtesy of the Babylon Bee "Hey, come on, Jack!" Biden replied. "That's just uncalled for." READ BABYLON BEE ARTICLE Read more →


Home Country: Dad-gum ol’ Doc

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Nature hates a vacuum, and so does Windy Wilson. The other day, emerging from the drug store, he looked around, and, finding no handy audience, spoke instead to the world. “Dad-gum ol’ Doc, anyway,” he said. “He’s one-a my bestest pals, but if you go to him for a mizz-ry, he makes you do some things and quit doin’ some other things. Them things Doc wants you to do you don’t wanna do, and the things he wants you to quit doin’ are stuff you bin savin’ up to do a buncha years now. “Now... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: Eavesdropping at the Mule Barn Coffee Shop

CNBNews Contributor If you didn’t know what time of the year it was, or what the weather was like, you could tell simply by eavesdropping at the philosophy counter of the Mule Barn coffee shop. Let’s give it a try. “Good to see you here, Doc,” said Herb Collins. “That warm water on the battery trick work for you?” “Thanks, Herb. Yep. I tried it this morning. What’s that you got there?” “Travel thingie. You know it’s more than 80 degrees in Guatemala … right now?” “Saw a deal on TV,” Dud said. “They’re water skiing in Florida. You can... Read more →


Home Country: The Fly Tying Love Center

One of the problems Marvin Pincus discovered about running the Fly Tying Love Center here in the valley is that there appeared to be more fly tying than love counseling going on. This particular morning he was whipping up a nice fluffy Adams dry on a number 12 and wishing everyone’s love problems were as easy to solve as tying one of these. He takes silent pride in being a pioneer in this field of combining fly tying and romance solutions, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t quietly hope for his neighbors to have more love problems. His advice had... Read more →


Home Country: You Are Going To Miss The Pandemic !!!

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor “You know,” said Herb, “when this danged virus thingie is over and we all have our shots and are guaranteed to live longer than anyone else wants us to, there is only one thing I’ll miss.” Doc, our morning coffee medical expert, put down his cup and looked at Herb, who was not our medical expert but a retired pawn shop owner. “You mean you’re going to miss this pandemic, Herb? It’s terrible. What on earth will you miss about it?” Herb glanced around the philosophy counter here at the Mule Barn truck stop and... Read more →


Home Country: Bachelor Windy Wilson and Widow Mamie Dilworth

by Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor “Windy, my man,” said Doc, “how are you and the widow getting along?” “She’s been sorta creepitatin’ up on my blind side, Doc,” Windy said. “Which side is that, Windy?” “Very humoristic, Dud. Ha. Ha.” We had all been watching, as closely as we could, the relationship between Windy Wilson, bachelor, camp cook, cowboy, and teller of tales … and Mamie Dilworth, aging hippie chick, starer at crystals, vegetarian, widow. We all knew, those of us who lived vicariously alongside the perimeter of their friendship, that if it could’ve been filmed, it’d be on... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: New Year Resolutions

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor “Boys,” said our tall cowboy, Steve, “I’ve got a real problem coming up and I’m not sure how to cope with it.” The rest of us in the world dilemma think tank, meeting here each morning as long as the Farmers Brothers coffee doesn’t run out, turned toward our friend. We’re nothing if not a helpful bunch. We put our cups down … even Dud, who was still on his first cup. Doc said, “Maybe we can help a bit, Steve. Tell us about it.” “Well, Doc, it’s these dang New Years Resolutions. Time’s almost... Read more →


Home Country: Something About A Winter Moonlight Walk

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor CNBNews photo There’s something about a winter moonlight walk, Doc thought, as he smiled his way through his neighborhood. He looked at the light coming from the windows of each house. Each house warming its family. It would be about supper time now. Maybe I can sniff just right and see if I can guess what is cooking. But that could be construed as detective work, and this is definitely not the time for work. Oh no. Not when you can look through the lacy, filigree patterns of dormant twigs high in the trees and... Read more →


Home Country: Ol' Dud and Romantic Flops

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor When it comes to romantic flops, it’s hard to beat ol’ Dud. He and Anita have been married for about five years now, but sometimes we question why she puts up with him. He has all the courtship skills of a flea collar. “Dud Campbell,” Anita said the other night, “what are you getting me for Christmas?” “Now Honey, it wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, would it?” “That means you haven’t bought it yet, doesn’t it?” “Well, I won’t say I have and I won’t say I haven’t, but, uh, don’t get... Read more →


HOME COUNTRY: Just how stupid do they think we are, anyhow?

Slim Randles | CNBNews Contributor Saw this ad t’other day in my outdoors magazine, Campin’ ‘n Fishin’. Oh, hi there, Alphonse Wilson doin’ the talkin’ don’t you see. Call me Windy. Sneaked in here again when Slim weren’t lookin.’ But I gotta tell ya not to believe ever dang thing you read. Yessir, they had this little-bitty sleeping bag made out of space materials, I guess so you can stay warm on Mars or somethin’ and it weighed just about nothin’ and a half. Just how stupid do they think we are, anyhow? I mean, you gotta surround yourself with... Read more →