NEWS, SPORTS, COMMENTARY, POLITICS for Gloucester City and the Surrounding Areas of South Jersey and Philadelphia

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BY Slim Randles


  Feel that warmth? Right there on the back of your neck? Yep. That’s the one. Around here that means only one thing: time to cruise down to the Mule Barn coffee shop and get something hot to drink.

  Of course, that’s what we do regardless of any vagaries of the weather, but that spring sunshine makes it more pleasant. Gives a guy the impetus to be an impetur, I’m thinking.

   “I believe,” said our mustached cowboy, Steve, after his first cup, “that it is the duty of ever-dang one of us to improve the lives of others while we’re here, and I’ve found my own way.”

  “And that is?” asked Doc.

  “Well, Doc, you’re the reason I decided on this here. You know them medicines you prescribe for me? Can’t read ‘em. Know why? They’re in a different language and we’re Americans ‘round here.”

  “Like which ones, Steve?”

  Steve pulled a pill bottle out of his shirt pocket and looked at it. “A-mox-a-silly-un, for one.”

   “It’s for killing germs.”

   “Well, so is that Lysol stuff, but I think drinking it would make a guy sick.”


   “I’m going to rename all them hard-named medicine so folks can pronounce them and know what they do. Take that A-mox stuff. Change that puppy to ‘germ slayer.’ Easier to say and tells you what to do. I figure by the time I get through with all that stuff in a drugstore, the world will be an easier place for doctors AND their patients.”

   “That’s sure interesting,” said Herb. “And someday someone will come up with a pill that prevents coffee drinkers from talking foolishness, too. Probably call it ‘Steve-a-cillin.’”

    Coffee does that to some folks, you know, but it’s still good for thinking.


Feet sore from all that walking? Hey, just sit on a rock and sprinkle some “Foot’s Achin’” powder on them. The secret’s in the sitting.