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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

 
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
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Red Skelton source Wikipedia
 
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
 
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
 
 
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
 
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
 
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and bread maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
 
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
 
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
 
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
 
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
 
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
 
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
 
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
 
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
 
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word or politics. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless," with a big smile.
 
 
Submitted by Chalie Huber aka Chalie The Clip

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