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I mowed the lawn today,  and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

 

graphic The Thinker

 

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, I said, "Nothing."

 

She then said, "That's what you did yesterday!"

 

I replied, "I WASN'T DONE , SO I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING RIGHT NOW."

 

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

 

Finally I pondered an age old again question: "Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?" Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

 

Well, after another beer,  and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

 

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts again."

 

I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap. It’s nice being retired. It gives me time to reflect on some of the important things in life.

 

AUTHOR UNKNOWN