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Dawn Watson's Just Sayin': Spring

Dawn Watson | CNBNewsnet

 

   ColdWell, hello Spring! I see by the calendar that today is your first day!

 

   Not to be nosy, but where are the crocuses? I guess they’re down there, under two feet of snow, waiting until you decide to regulate the temperature above thirty degrees.

 

   I see it’s snowing, again. It’s not your fault, though—it’s just a habit left over from our old friend, Winter, who seems like he doesn’t know when to leave. Thanks to him, my nose has been chapped for seven months.

 

   I wonder if you’ll approve of little kids participating in Easter egg hunts in snowsuits.

 

We may have to change the words from ‘In Your Easter Bonnet’ to ‘In Your Easter Parka’, but we’ll manage. And this year, baskets will be filled with traditional items (peeps, chocolate bunnies, cute holiday-themed toys) as well as de-icer, mittens, and wool socks.

   I’m not opposed to the rabbit being replaced by a polar bear, but the kids might be confused.

   I noticed that my heating bill is pretty high for late March and I’m hoping you’ll pitch in somehow and help me pay it. After all, it’s kind of your fault.

   I’m not saying you won’t show up, it’s just that you’re late and I’d like to start planting. And if the temperature continues to hover in the twenties I won’t be able to afford to buy local produce because there won’t be any!

   I must admit that the neighborhood kids aren’t as noisy since Winter is hanging on—being flash-frozen keeps them quiet, I guess.

   Recently, a Mr. Softee truck got stuck in the snow. We all helped him move along because that song was driving us nuts!

   At the risk of sounding like I’m nagging, it’s time you did your job so we can get on with our lives—dogs need to be walked, children need to be outdoors, sandals need to be worn—the list is endless.

   How about a compromise: you can start slow and give us say, forty-five degrees and tell Summer not to start until the Fourth of July. Sound fair?

   Sure, we could all move to Florida but we’d miss you and Autumn, so be a dear and do your job.

   My chapped nose will appreciate it.

 

Just Sayin’

Dawn Watson

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