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Dawn Watson's Just Sayin': The Long Goodbye

Dawn O Watson | CNBNewsnet



   TalkingYou’ve had it happen, many times: a visitor gets ready to leave, then stands at the door with you, her captive audience, and talks on and on and on.


   I’m usually fairly glib when it comes to excuses and I’ve come up with some good ones while standing at the front door with a visitor in the state of departure. Here are a few of my favorites:


   When visitor is wearing a coat: You’re sweating. You’d better go before you melt. (Dramatic daubing with a tissue adds to the statement).


   When the weather is hot: You’re sweating. You’d better go before you melt. (Dramatic daubing…)


   I have to go to the bathroom. (Insert Potty Dance)


   The roast is done. (Prepare for the inevitable request to stay for dinner.


   By the way, I’m harboring illegals in my basement. (Careful with this one.)


   (Shift gaze abruptly to the floor) Mouse! Mouse!


   Better check your purse when you get home. My dog is a “lifter”.


   Can I borrow a hundred bucks?


   Do you have a dollar? (Quickly take a picture of it, then hand it back without explanation.)

   I think I’m going to throw up.


   Did you hear that? It sounded like a car being keyed.


   (My all-time favorite) If you leave now I won’t charge you. (Prepare for puzzled look and hasty exit).


   If you hear any of the above-named catch phrases, know that your visit is over, and your hostess cares about you. If she didn’t, she’d have shoved you out the door and thrown your coat onto the front lawn.


   Life is too short for long goodbyes—when your time is up, leave as gracefully as you can and don’t sweat the exit. Your friends will appreciate it.


Just Sayin’

 Dawn Watson