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CNB Archive Sept. 2011:

Just Sayin' : Men From Mars

6a00d8341bf7d953ef01b7c78436c8970b-320wiPublished Saturday, September 24, 2011

I decided, about a month ago, to resume living life. Since living life includes companionship I went onto the Internet and enrolled in several free dating sites. That’s when the fun started.  

After weeding out the ones that were obviously not for me, (handles like “Hotmoiststicky” and “Mamasboy” were immediately ruled out) I discovered that there are hundreds, maybe thousands of men out there in search of a woman with whom to share life’s meaningful moments! But some of these guys are…well, different. Take, for example Bachelor Number One: widowed, grown children, about my age, searching for love, or at least “like”. Sounds perfect for me! Until we met, that is. 

“Marvin” and I arranged to meet at a park near his home. I got dressed in a new outfit, fixed my (recently Lady Clairol-ed) hair, applied a generous amount of cosmetic facial enhancements, and drove to meet my date. 

And there he was, dressed in the same shorts and dirty tee shirt he was wearing in his profile picture. At the time, I thought it was cute. In person, not so much. I could have let that go except he smelled a little bit like he had just spent a day outdoors, doing yard work. By way of apology he stated, “Where I’m from, we consider the smell of sweat an aphrodisiac.” Since I’m from Earth, (where we bathe) I decided to move on to Bachelor Number Two. 

"Joe" and I met at a local restaurant and hit it off, immediately. I thought it was coincidental that he, too was wearing shorts and a tee shirt but I liked him enough to overlook it. We arranged to meet later that evening for a nice dinner at Vitale’s, one of my favorite places. I rushed home and spent the next three hours making myself look wonderful, or at least as good as a 60-year-old, slightly overweight, recently widowed woman can look. Finally, zero hour arrived and my White Knight knocked at the door. Wearing the same shorts and (now sweaty) tee shirt he was wearing that afternoon. 

Since then I’ve met a couple more guys (all wearing shorts and tee shirts) but no one I’d want to see, again so I’ve decided to ease off the dating sites and concentrate on taking life one day at a time, here on Planet Earth. Maybe one day I’ll meet a nice guy that wouldn’t mind throwing on a pair of jeans and a clean shirt when we go out. If it never happens at least I’ll be able to say I tried my best and that’s more than the fellows I recently dated did. 

Just sayin’,

Dawn Watson

- See more at: http://www.gloucestercitynews.net/clearysnotebook/2011/09/just-sayin-men-from-mars-cnbnewsnet.html#more

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