CNBNews

Commentary   By Hank F. Miller Jr. (Hank is a former resident of Gloucester City who lives   in Japan)

 Here's a Tip! You   don't deserve one, pal.

 The only woman who has ever chased me was a willowy Japanese   waitress who trailed me half a block from her restaurant door."Sir,   "she panted, "I'm sorry...but you forgot your change!"Oh...So   I waltzed off 100 yen richer.

About 93 cents. Mean while   the waitress got-besides 40 meters of exercise-was my sincere gratitude.

Speed up the clock and tilt   the world, and lo and behold this past week we were on our way in transit at   the air port in San Francisco, California, I found myself chased again ...   this time by a waiter. "Sir!" he wheezed. He held my bill in his   hand."I'm sorry...but your tip was insufficient!"

Now-the truth be   known-sometimes I do stretch facts. And when that gets dull, at other times I   make things up. But this time I cross my foreigner's heart and swore on a   stack of alien registration cards: The man followed me because I had tipped   less than 15 percent.

 I had left that smaller amount on purpose.Oh, the service had   been OK and so had the food. Yet my meal arrived 15 minutes late, during   which time I mostly sat and watched my wife suck crab legs.

Yet...that was not my reason   either. In all the endless vacation tipping of cab drivers, baggage handlers   and so on, I had graded not a single effort as out of the ordinary, and none   of it as meriting extra money. I was fed up, and this waiter was the unlucky   fellow to learn this.

My wife fidgeted. As   Japanese, she craves one basic thing"harmony.She eyed me to pay the man,   especially with passersby nudging their children and saying, "Hey, kids,   look at the cheapskate!"But I declined, and the waiter mumbled his way back   to the restaurant. I walked off a few bucks richer, yet not without pangs of   guilt.

People say the gap between   Japan and the United States grows closer everyday. Japanese gobble   cheeseburgers. Americans sleep on futons=quilts for sleeping on the floor.

Japanese girls mimic the   hair style of Britney Spears. American boys imitate the batting style of   Ichiro Suzuki. Who knows...one day both nations might be nothing but one   giant Starbucks-lined shopping mall of video arcades, clothing stores and a   dollar/100 yen shops.

 With the single difference being that on one side of the ocean,   consumers will tip and on the other side of the ocean, they won't.Hopefully,   that will never change. Or if it does, it will change for the   better...meaning America will go cold turkey on the gratuity   kick."You're just a tightwad, "says my wife."A tightwad from   Bumpkin city, where people only know two kinds of service: Self and   buffet."

And for that helpful   comment, I decided to give her 15 percent of my mind. At times, the American   service industry might more accurately be called the 'serve less' industry.  

Warm Regards From   Kitakyushu City, Japan